2000
March 25, 2000
August 6, 2000
Undated
2001
2003
February 10, 2003
February 10, 2003 (Part 2)
February 11, 2003
February 13, 2003
February 14, 2003
February 19, 2003
February 20, 2003
February 23, 2003
February 25, 2003
March 7, 2003
March 9, 2003
March 10, 2003
February 10, 2003 - Part 2
It looks like I underestimate my own motivation. Maybe if I do what I want, I'll find myself doing it.
I've had a lot of things running through my head in the past week for one reason or another. It's difficult for me to transpose such cluttered thoughts onto a piece of paper without it digressing into unorganized ramblings in Dottism.
(Dot Dot Dot Dot.)
The TV talking point of the day seems to be the inevitable war on Iraq. Since falling from my die hard Marxist manners, I've cared less and less about political bull shit. Not that I have mastered the field, but politics and government all seem to be a game I am not involved in and have no real knowledge of. The most important fact is that I can't trust anything that is told to me by any government.
Such issues are and have been on the backburner for me for a while. I think this could be because I feel a deeper need to be involved in the "Real World".
Nonetheless, I am still caught up in my discussion with Robby last night. The idea of Romanticism has been ingrained in my brain by imaginary forces, particularly the TV.
But even Catcher in the Rye is subject to Romanticism. I mention this because I too share in a Lennon Killing Obsession with the world of Holden Caulfield. At times I feel I am him and at others I am the phonies he condescends. But about Romanticism, Holden is secretly a Romantic character, he has read his fair share of Tropic of Cancer and Arabian Nights. He also seems incredibly desperate to hang onto anything, specifically his love interests with no love. His spontaneity (or desire for it) and a true belief in Romanticism are in constant battle with ever lasting angst. His pessimistic clairvoyance get the best of him which only leads to further self-loathing. Quite the vicious cycle!
I can't stop daydreaming about the past or future. I think that things will work out for me, but in what context? Maybe I'll be rich. Maybe I'll get a hot wife. Or maybe I'll just be content.
My thoughts are abrupt and wandering today and what I once felt would ooze out naturally is being difficulty pulled out. I know I need to rest when it's not there...
List of " "
- cell phones
- vegans
- A&F
- TV
- gossip
- vegetarians
- people who deny themselves truth while sober
- people who are always painfully sober
- pleasure
- lack there of
- the ability to laugh at other's weakness
- acceptance of authority
- attempt to be independent/different
- crowds that don't go with other crowds
- stories that revolve around drinking