Best of the Bongo

Alonzo
The Bongo Biography
Valentine's Day Prank
Friend's of the Bongo
The Best Glasses Ever
An Awkward Conversation
Caption Contest
Internet Spammer Thwarted
Magic School Bus Tragedy
Nip the Nips
NYE Videos
Opinions in America
John Attacks Local Muslim
Ugly Raver Project
Surveys of America
A Critique of Rock
Visilibility

The Network

WellPlacedPottery
ProseBeforeHos
Sexy & Disgraceful



Acker: hey its john
gymlovr: john who?
gymlovr: oh, neighbor john
Acker: yes neighbor john
Acker: hey neighbor
gymlovr: hi john
gymlovr: how's it going?
Acker: we're just living the life
Acker: hedonism and all
gymlovr: good stuff, that hedonism
Acker: yes. i wouldn't have it any other way
gymlovr: only the best
gymlovr: so whatcha guys up to?
gymlovr: for real I mean
Acker: hedonism
gymlovr: and what is involved in this hedonism?
Acker: come on
gymlovr: gotta go, ER is on
Acker: that show is too violent for me
gymlovr: that is unfortunate
gymlovr: you are missing out on one hell of a show
Acker: YOU CAN'T CUSS
gymlovr: why the hell not?
Acker: STOP IT
Acker: MY VIRGIN EARS
gymlovr: oh no
gymlovr: I'm corrupting you
gymlovr: shame on me
Acker: TO THE MOSQUE
gymlovr: there are none in Southern VA
gymlovr: not religiously diverse enough
Acker: no i think its perfect
Acker: start your own damn mosque
Acker: muslims are made up people. like gypsies and eskimos
gymlovr: hey john, if you're gonna be yourself, don't talk to me
gymlovr: I don't feel like talking to jackasses tonight
Acker: are you calling me a jackass?
Acker: is that what you're implying?
gymlovr: I know you're probably cranky from the trip down, but go talk to Steve
gymlovr: that's why you're there
Acker: no i'm here to drink for free
Acker: to drink alcohol
Acker: illegallyh
Acker: alcohol is not legal for me to drink
gymlovr: well, go make it a bonding activity
gymlovr: I know
gymlovr: I don't care
gymlovr: go ahead
gymlovr: pass outr
Acker: i'd rather bond with you
Acker: lets bond
gymlovr: puke everwhere
Acker: are we bonding yet?
Acker: i'm using steve to drink alcohol
gymlovr: not really
Acker: illegally
gymlovr: good for you
Acker: ok lets bond
gymlovr: I use steve to drink alcohol too
Acker: i like cookies puppies and knitting
Acker: what do you like so i can act like i care
gymlovr: I like my friends
gymlovr: and you are not one
Acker: awwwww dammit
Acker: do you build your friends up while i tear you down?
Acker: is victor your friend? is steve your friend? am I YOUR FRIEND
gymlovr: yes I do build my friends while you tear me down
victor is an acquaintance
steve is a pal
you are someone I just know and talk to every so often
Acker: i keep shit real
Acker: do you think you're living in reality?
Acker: are you happy?
gymlovr: are you a philosopher?
Acker: yes, mr. kelly taught me well. i keep things real
Acker: i have risen above pleasentry
gymlovr: good for you
gymlovr: I care not for philosophy
Acker: yes good for me. too bad for you though. you should dive deep into who you are, then talk to me.
Acker: cause you bore the hell outta me
gymlovr: John, I am going to say something I haven't said in a long time
gymlovr: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Acker: i'm sorry i didn't get that
Acker: one more time?
Acker: hit me baby, just one more time
gymlovr: is steve thre?
Acker: no
gymlovr: where is he?
gymlovr: if I bore teh hell out of you, stop talking to me
Acker: no
Acker: you bring out a latent intrest in me. like human interaction. you are boring, but you know, sometimes love hurts
Acker: love hurts farrah. you know it. love scars
gymlovr: whatever
Acker: tell me love doesn't hurt farrah. just tell me and i'll believe you
Acker: have you found the one
Acker: am I, the one
gymlovr: where is steve?
Acker: goddammit i don't know stop asking
Acker: aren't i good enough?
gymlovr: go back to your hedonism
Acker: no i want to swim and slash in your virtue
Acker: watch out, i'm diving in
gymlovr: okay, you wanna talk? let's talk?
gymlovr: what do you think about dr. carter and the new doctor hooking up?
gymlovr: I was rooting for Dr. Carter and Nurse Abby
gymlovr: but that didn't happen
gymlovr: it was disheartening
Acker: it was.
Acker: what should have happened is as follows
gymlovr: tell me about it
Acker: they have casual sex
Acker: that way they know if they should get married
Acker: cause if you end up marrying someone you hate, you end up with like 8 kids
Acker: and that would suck as
Acker: s
gymlovr: yeah it would
Acker: how many kids do you want?
Acker: 20?
Acker: 500?
gymlovr: whoa, someone on ER just hanged himself
Acker: i heard thats the only way to get into heaven. right?
gymlovr: how would I know? I'm not Catholic
Acker: what do you believe in then
gymlovr: john, you are there to bond w/ steve - go find him and bond
Acker: no
Acker: i don't want to bond with him
Acker: he's republican. i want to bond to you
gymlovr: he's republican?!
gymlovr: didn't see that coming
Acker: geezus where have you been
Acker: you call him a bud
Acker: you don't even know his orientation
gymlovr: I don't know him that well
gymlovr: why don't you tell me about him?
gymlovr: how did you guys meet?
Acker: i thought you were a bud
gymlovr: why did you decide he was good enough to be your friend?
Acker: because he can beat me up, and he keeps me prisoner
gymlovr: how was your first drinking experience with him?
gymlovr: oh, sexual games huh?
Acker: if it was up to me, i'd only be friends with people I could beat up
gymlovr: why can't you beat him up? weren't you a wrestler?
gymlovr: what advantage does he have over you?
Acker: geezus stop asking questions
gymlovr: then stop talking to me
Acker: no
Acker: you answer my questions
gymlovr: John
gymlovr: stop
Acker: stop what
gymlovr: no one talks to me like that
Acker: the maddness
gymlovr: there is a reason why I never tried to be friends with you
gymlovr: you're such a jerk
Acker: is that it
Acker: then why do i have friends at all
Acker: by your theory, i shouldn't have any
gymlovr: some people like jerks
gymlovr: I never called it my theory
Acker: so you dont think you're a jerk
Acker: what if i htought you were a jerk
gymlovr: then think I'm a jerk
gymlovr: why should I care?
Acker: why am i a jerk
Acker: i call it as it is
Acker: FINE i'll stop
Acker: go pray
gymlovr: go fuck yourself
gymlovr signed off at 10:42:27 PM.

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