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Best of the Bongo
Alonzo
The Bongo Biography
Valentine's
Day Prank
Friend's
of the Bongo
The Best Glasses
Ever
An Awkward Conversation
Caption
Contest
Internet
Spammer Thwarted
Magic School
Bus Tragedy
Nip the
Nips
NYE Videos
Opinions
in America
John Attacks
Local Muslim
Ugly Raver
Project
Surveys
of America
A Critique of Rock
Visilibility
The Network
WellPlacedPottery
ProseBeforeHos
Sexy & Disgraceful
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For years, man has asked the question, who is the Bongo? Is he a figment of our imaginations? Is he a super human? Is he really a turnip? I am here to answer those questions.
Despite rumors to the contrary, I am not a turnip. In fact, my years as a vegetable have been supplanted by my desire for me to turn into a fruit. As you can clearly see to the left, I wear hawaian shirts while beating my multi-colored bongo's in an attempt to be the worlds greatest fruit. So far, my plans have failed. Fucking Martina Natrilova ruins everything!
Ok, with that said, I'll now provide some much unneeded facts about myself:
Favorite Band: The Doors
Favorite Movie: Clockwork Orange
Favorite Song: Daniel Johnston "Casper the Friendly Ghost" (kids soundtrack)
Favorite Music Genre: Good music is good music
Favorite person: Kit
Favorite oriental: Victor
Favorite nerd: Pez
Favorite Food Personality: Dave Thomas
Favorite Food: Wendys (Dave Thomas is hot (as a corpse))
Favorite Drink: Corporation Love™
Favorite Poet: Allen Ginsberg
Favorite Writer: Jack Kerouac or Jim Carrol
Favorite Artist: Salvador Dali
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Well, thats about everything I can think of about myself. Right now I'm kind of sorry I even put up this page. God damn am I pathetic! Ahhhh! <runs into maniac depressive fit>
If you still want to learn more,
you can always contact me, but
if actually want to learn more, you probably need to be exorcised or castrated.
Whichever is most convinient for you is fine. =)
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