Well, as seeing as this website is the pinnacle of my sad nerd side, I've decided I must provide a new side of myself to prove to you, the viewer, that I am in fact absolutely cool in real life.

Here is how you can tell:

1) Once did drugs
2) Played varsity sports
3) Can drink lots of beer
4) Can make fun of others at will
5) Has a GIGANTIC penis
6) Can recount many drunken stories involving sex, the cops, and other wacky crap
7) Homogenized personality
8) Once dealt drugs
9) Can act like better than others
10) Dated a cheerleader
11) Dated a model
12) Has a cellular phone
13) Racist/Homophobic/Sexist
14) Hates everything
15) Can find the worst in every situation
16) Can act like does not care about anything
17) Can treat girls like shit
18) Rich, white, and arrogant
19) Football!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
20) Dresses like this: